What To Do Next When You Need To Go It Alone

Misbah Akhtar

It is a well-known fact that nothing puts a strain on an adult relationship quite like having children. It’s not the kids fault, but having the responsibilities of parenthood can sometimes mean a relationship with a particular person just doesn’t work out. Parenthood is hard for both parents to undertake, even if you have done it before. It is full trials and challenges that evolve each of you independently as people. Sometimes the changes and experiences alter you in ways that mean you are no longer compatible as a couple.

Whether the blame is felt or not, relationship breakdowns happen more often than not. A few survive each of these but most do not. We are living in an age culturally where we have choice and freedom to change situations that are making us unhappy. Sometimes we need to take advantage of that and move on. For a small number of us, it is something we must do immediately.

Whatever the reason is for you leaving, or being left, by the father of your children, there are a number of things you need to have in place. Accommodation is top of the priority list, together with a source of income. If you feel you will have difficulty getting some maintenance payments from your ex, try contacting a lawyer firm like Maceau Law for some advice. Friends and family are a good place to start if you need accommodation in a hurry. If they do not have rooms or places for you to rent, they may at least be able to help you financially secure a place of your own if you need it.

Once you have the essentials in place, it is time to get organised. Raising a family on your own requires you to run a very tight ship. Use a calendar or timetable app to help you work out where you and the kids need to be. You can then start fitting in the laundry, cooking and other household chores around it. Eventually, your timetable will be so structured you will be able to include time for your own hobbies and interests. At the moment though, it probably all looks too daunting. You will adapt, and you will overcome this. After all, you got through pregnancy and childbirth!

Go It Alone

This photo from Flickr.com

One trick to fitting so much in is to use life hacks and childminders. Life hacks are ways of getting through day to day tasks more efficiently than we would ordinarily have to. It often involves multitasking or doing two things at once to maximize your time. Childminders are wonderful resources, available at a reasonable rate. A good one will be able to offer you hours to suit you and take on extras as you need them. Choose one that has good reviews and is regulated by your local body. Once you are settled into your new way of life, you may even find you enjoy being so organised and busy. A lot of sacrifices will need to be made at first, but you will become an awesome problem solver.

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