Adding dating to your life as a single Mum can be a challenge. If you have made a decision to start dating, it is imperative that you have a good game plan before you begin finding Mr Right or Mr Fun (we’ll talk about that in a second).
Many single Mums have found themselves in difficult situations because they did not establish rules before starting to date and just let the relationship lead wherever it may. If you are a single Mum and dating, read these three important tips on dating whilst being a Mum:
- Have a Purpose – This means that you should decide what your end goal is for dating. Are you dating just for fun? Or are you dating to find a potential life mate? If you are dating for fun in order to meet new people and have some adult interaction, you should first establish some ground rules. Will you give him your home number? How will you interact with him? Will he potentially meet your children? Decide these things before dating so you are clear about your wants and how the relationship will be conducted.
If you are dating for a potential life mate, it is imperative that you write down what qualities are must-haves for him. You don’t want to be on a fifth date with someone only to find out that he doesn’t like kids. You must not only consider your likes and dislikes but also what qualities would be beneficial to your children and your family as a whole. If you are dating and your potential mate doesn’t have one of your must-haves, end the relationship quickly as not to waste your time or his. Note: You should also have a list of nice to have, these are not deal breakers.
- Let Him Know You Have Children – This might seem quite obvious but many women are confused about when the right time is to share the fact that they have children. I suggest that it comes out during the first phone conversation whilst you are talking about what you like to do in your spare time. Share with him how old your children are and also ask if he has kids.
Discussing the age of children in addition to whether each has them is important because your kids might be on their way to adulthood while he might be toddlers. You should find this out as soon as possible because if you are excited about being an empty nester and he has young children, you should consider if you are open to parenting younger children.
- Friends First – So you have been dating for a while and you want to know when is the best time to introduce him to your children. I suggest that you wait until you have become friends and you trust him, this usually takes anywhere from 2-3 months. You do not have to rush this phase. You should have also had a conversation with your children about your dating and preparing them for your new friend.
You should also wait to show intimacy with your partner around your children until there has been a commitment made between you and him that you are exclusive or that you are officially a couple.
Robyn Lee |